Being A Teenager.

I am so sensitive with everything around me. The slightest thing annoy me. I don’t get over things fast. I just dwell on it. Dwell and dwell. I make myself sad for no reason. I create reasons for myself to be sad. I want to be happy all the time. But it’s hard because I can’t force myself to be happy. But sometimes I smile to make myself feel better. It works somehow, but it’ll only last for awhile.

My brain is filled with thoughts. And from the thoughts come more thoughts from that thought. And I’ll feel sad by over thinking things, thinking about how I am, what I do, people around me, where I am. It just makes me sad although I tell myself “No one really cares.” I try to shut myself from these thoughts and think happy thoughts, but the sad thoughts over power my happy thoughts. It doesn’t happen all the time, but when it happens, my whole day would be ruin, sometimes week.

I havent felt this emotional and sensitive until this year. It’s crazy how the slightest thing saddens and annoy me. It really is! I force myself to get over things but it’s hard. I know that it’s a small part of life. It’s a small dirty, moldy part of life that no one likes. It’s like a vacuum of sadness. And when you’re sucked into it, you need time and help to get out of it.

And when I feel this way, the vision and feelings in my head are vague. I’ll feel different and blocked. Sometimes I feel like I’m loosing myself. And it’s scary. It’s like “Who am I?” “Is this who I am?” and etc. But then again, I know that it is all about growing up and what makes life, life! It’s that point of life (there are many points) to make you stronger, to make you get over things, to yah I said it already, to make you stronger. But it takes time. It’s just molding you nicely, and shaping you.

I really thank God for being God! And my family and friends. They make me feel better when I’m at my lowest. Whenever I feel sad, I just read the bible, pray, talk to my friends and family about it. I mean, I know that these feelings happen once in a while, and I’d get over it sooner or later, but sometimes when they do happen, you just need someone to talk to and to realize things. 

BYEBYE.